Problems and Attitudes

This year has been eventful. To be more precise, 2006 has been a complete and utter write-off. I know this may seem premature as I write this in mid-November, but regardless how December turns out, it hardly seems like it will make a difference. I say a write-off, but in some respects, it could also be the very making of me. Let me explain.

A Promising Start

This year, started off with so much promise, with the prospect of three months to be spent in California with my brand-spanking-new employer - Ning, Inc, between February and May. Before that I spent the first weeks of January finishing of my final weeks at Orange Vision. Whilst at that time I was fully aware that those last ten or so days, would be the last ‘normal’ days of my then life (the same walk home, the same jokes at work and in the pub, the same Wednesday night swimming session), little did I know what challenges and trials lay ahead.

Whilst I had some concerns before I left, those first three months I spent in Palo Alto, where the three easiest and most enjoyable of this year. I was made to feel totally at home, removed from all forms of stress and worry, enjoying a new (Mac-centric) work environment, and making new friends in the process.

I find it interesting to look back at my blog posts written during that time, especially when compared to those from the last couple of months.

This blog is starting to get wet around the edges.

A Long, Hard Summer

My return to the UK in May, put an abrupt end to that stress free existence, and I think this post (The last six months…) goes some way to putting into words how hard this summer turned out to be. The prospect of a permanent move to the States, leaving my friends and family behind became more of an issue for me (as did other frustrations), to the point that it was touch and go as to whether I would actually make the move or not. What I had hoped would be an enjoyable summer, was somewhat of a non-event.

In the end, I knew the only way to know if a move was the right thing to do, was to actually move out to the US and give it a go. The last six weeks have been harder than I ever expected them to be, and I have been through every kind of emotion (both in and outside of work).

Luckily, the company has been really supportive and right behind me which is great. The fact that they place so much faith in me and my talents, and that I feel such believes could be misplaced is something I need to address.

This could be the very minute
I’m aware I’m alive
All these places feel like home

Whilst this year is still not over, I feel like this is the first year that I have actually lived. I’m am being taken through the mill, and it’s somewhat of a daily struggle at times. At the same time, I know this is just what I need, and I’d like to think I’ll come out the other side a stronger person.

What have I done it’s too late for that
What have I become truth is nothing yet

For far too long, I have been drifting through life, letting decisions be made for me. When I do make decisions, they tend to be left far too late for them to matter. I’m quickly learning that I am in control of a large part (yet not all) of my life, and that whilst past mistakes may trouble me, I have no control of them, but I do have some control of the future. I am also finding that with age, comes experience, and I am able to predict how I would react in certain situations. Hopefully this leads to me not making the same mistakes again (although this is sometimes easier said than done).

Looking Forward

I’m not sure where this post is heading, just to say this. Whilst 2006 has been a total train wreck as far as I’m concerned, I like to think it’s setting the scene for a more prosperous New Year. There are a lot of things to look forward to: friends coming out to visit, conferences, great new Ning stuff and industry developments. I now know that it is within my power to make these things happen. At the same time there are also a lot of other big challenges to come, and I’m in no doubt that they may dwarf any current concerns. I need to be ready to face them.

True also that 2006 has seen me accomplish a lot of great things too, see new places meet new people etc. Furthermore, and perhaps this is the greatest discovery of this year, is that I have a number of great fiends, that are at hand even when I’m across a vast ocean. I have even found a few of such high calibre much closer to home too. I recognise I need to be more thankful of these things, and not dwell so much on the negatives. Now if only there was a day in which I could celebrate all that I was thankful for…

Lyrics taken from Snow Patrol - Chocolate. Title inspired by a conversation with Jon


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» That was 2006 from LloydyBlog, on January 1, 2007 1:07 AM...

Unsurprisingly, I feel compelled to write a review of this last year, which I think I can say with some confidence has been very different from previous years. Having said that it seems like I've spent the last five or... [Read More]


3 responses so far. Go on, add yours!

 Gravatar#1 On November 17, 2006 1:43 AM, Kris said...

I think everyone has these phases in life mate where things seem not quite what we want them to be. You have to remember how much you have achieved this year career wise and how much of a great foundation you have laid for the future wherever your career path may go.

I've always believed that in life, all we really are as human beings is the sum of all our experiences and we are defined by them whether they be good or bad.

My biggest fear is looking back on my life and not having any stories to tell but you my friend are already accumilating a nice stock of said stories. Because at the end of it all, all we will have are those stories.

I hope that 2007 brings you the same amount of luck in other aspects of your life mate as 2006 has done with your career!

 Gravatar#2 On November 25, 2006 7:27 AM, Dan said...

Wow, powerful stuff Elroy my boy!

But like Kris said, although this last year has been tricky come next year when you are settled you will be reaping the rewards and will have a whole new exciting future to look forward to. Just think to what you have achieved in the last few years... It is more than a lot of people will do in their lifetime and that is something you can be very proud of mate.

You only have one life mate, so go out there and make the most of it. The world needs you Elroy! Just think you could have always stayed at McD's and lived your life that way, but then what is the point of living if you don't push and test yourself. You will only regret it in the future.

You are a good man Elroy, you just wait. 2007 will be an amazing year for you.

Chin up son.

 Gravatar#3 On November 25, 2006 10:32 AM, Lewis Burden said...

Hey, just remember Office 2007 and Vista will be in the mainstream.

Things are looking up already!

I cannot believe you removed my last comment, I was that upset I nearly did not go out for Ruths birthday at Revolution.

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This entry was written on 16 Nov 2006, 2:17 AM and is filled under .